I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your penis caused this!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
