His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
