You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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