Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
