How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize