But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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