Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
