what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
