Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
