Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
