This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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