Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
