i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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