we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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