my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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