I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize