final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
