Swine flu. Run for my life!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
