I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
