We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
