If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
