Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize