absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
