i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
