Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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