Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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