doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
