We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
