On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
