I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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