dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
