She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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