No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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