The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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