using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
