i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
