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Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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