im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
