Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
