Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
