That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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