I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
