gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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