im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
