I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
