dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
