oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
