im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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