he told me I talked like a deaf person
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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