I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
