Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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