Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
