He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
