I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
