gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He felt like a one man threesome
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
