you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
