All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
