So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
