I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
