I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize