We named our party play list daddy issues
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
