my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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