I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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