Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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