I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
