no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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