How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
