I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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