Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
